Queen of Black | by Cha Ocampo: How to be Positive 101

Tuesday, January 3

How to be Positive 101

I’m sure you’re all here because you want to read another explanation, but I’m sorry this is not another clarification of what happened on Twitter but more of a gratitude post to everyone. 

Everyone knows how happy I am as a person and because of that life has been made easier for me. I know some people might still feel bad for me due to what happened on Twitter, but honestly I feel okay, I’m not feeling any pressure (right now, my pamily, CHAROT), and I actually feel more motivated to share what I know and what I have learned in life. I’m sure my true friends and supporters know how I deal with this viral incident, and I bet they are all confident and just laughing at me right now for they know how minimal problem this is for me. For others, what do I know? I turned off my phone since yesterday. (Why? TOO MANY NOTIFS!!! MY PHONE IS EXPLODING HAHAHA)

Why am I so positive and happy-go-lucky despite of all the hates I’ve been getting? There’s no point in wasting my time raging towards all bashers, negative energy will just ruin a person’s state of mind. Happiness is inside all of us, we just have to find it. I’m blessed enough to have it in me all the time. 

Your belief is based on your experiences, so once again what I am sharing to you guys is a list of ways to be positive based on subjective opinions which I think can help some of you.

1. Have the right attitude towards everything.

2 Corinthians 4:8 We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. 

We are challenged, not tortured. Challenges make us sturdier as an individual, but it does not kill us. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger (sings hysterically while typing this).

I have read this verse in the bible so many times, especially when I am faced with difficulties in life. I remembered reading this when I had a fractured foot, I know this verse are just words but having this outlook in life changes everything and puts your life in perspective. I did have a fractured foot and wasn’t able to walk for three weeks. Normal people would say “That’s depressing”. Well, it’s true I can’t argue with that. A positive person would not focus on depression but rather spend time entertaining her self until it’s over in a jiffy. 

Now, this Twitter trend happened and I didn’t fight back because I know fighting back would not solve anything. I didn’t even drop names even if some people insisted that I do because it could be imposed as a crime of cyber bullying, but no I don't seek for revenge. I dealt with it by posting a blog about the unanswered questions without any bad intentions. I was troubled, but I wasn't crushed or tortured and that's how I handled everything. 

It’s all about the right attitude. 

2. Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy and you will be. (The Happiness Code, Dominique Bertolucci)

YOU HAVE A CHOICE. We all do. I know how cliche this statement is but based on the book where this was stated, every choice you make is a result. If you choose to become a hater and that makes you happy, then what else can people do? That's you. If it doesn't make you happy, change the way you think. Oprah Winfrey once said, "If you want your life to be more rewarding  you need to change the way you think".

I chose to keep quiet and that makes me happy. I chose to not fight back and ignore all hates because that what makes me happy. People in my situation might think of revenge or justice because that will make them happy but my happiness is based on my own values and state of being.

Take note: True happiness is a state of being not one of doing or having. 

3. So many of life’s eventualities are beyond your control, work out what things you can influence and come to a peaceful acceptance of the rest.  (The Happiness Code, Dominique Bertolucci)

You can't control people's minds, you can't control how people might react or how they handle problems. You can't control issues, no matter how small or big these are. To be more straightforward, you cannot control anyone or anything. If your goal is to live in a state of happiness, where you are contented and fulfilled, you need to be wise enough to avoid things that threaten this state. 

If I did fight back, it would be a big risk for me. I would be drowned in negative comments as if I personally invited distress into my life, and I don't like that. The question I always ask myself before I do something is "Is it really worth sacrificing your happiness?" 

I know I can't please everyone and I have peacefully accepted that a long time ago, it doesn't bother me anymore.

You need to choose your battles wisely and learn to accept what you can't change.

4. Options, options, options. You have TONS. 

"There is no such thing as 'no choice'. There are always other options. Explore yours." 

Every time something bad happens to me. I formulate possible options in my head, the things I need to do and not to do, the actions I need to control, etc. It comes naturally to human beings. Sometimes if you're negative you tend to say "wala eh, no choice na ako" but truth is, you have so many options you just have to discover it.

Let's say you have a best friend you've trusted your whole life and this particular friend badmouths you behind your back.

Option 1: Confront her, ask her if it's true, give and take, say both of your clarifications 
Option 2: or just do it in a form of text message if you're not comfortable with confrontations
Option 4: Ignore her and never speak to her again, if this will make you happy
Option 5: Do the same thing, if you're seeking for revenge

And if all 5 do not work out for you, well you all have your own mindset and I respect how one will handle this situation.

I got bashed on Twitter, I got so many options in mind and I've decided to keep calm and that made me happy. I've decided not to read all the comments, mentions, and reactions to keep my positive self intact.

Be sure whatever option you chose is your personal decision, which does not violate your happiness code.

5. Find an optimistic viewpoint in every negative situation 

There's always something positive out of the negative situations in life. Sometimes, we just refuse to accept optimism in our lives and think negatively, and this mindset is not going to help you live a peaceful positive life. I swear.

I broke my foot
Positive thing about it: I have 3 weeks to rest from all the continuous work and travels, in those weeks I could brainstorm more content, plan my next move, and save money since I won't be going out that much.

A breakup from a 4-7 years of relationship
Positive thing about it: Now you have freedom, you can go back to being young, wild, and free and live life again without anyone holding you back, you have a chance to love somebody again, and experience it all from the start. You can also think about more serious matters, like you would have more time for yourself, your career or job, being single isn't that bad!

I got bashed on twitter for saying something relevant
Positive thing about it: It became a trend, everyone spoke their minds about it and that's not such a bad thing.

Death of a loved one
This is not a joke, I know how painful this is and it's very hard  to become optimistic in situations like this. The positive thing about this is that we no longer see our loved ones having a hard time in this world. We have to accept that people come and go.

Ask yourself when you are faced with challenges you think you can't go through, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" There will be worst times but there's no challenge a human cannot face.

 Turn death into a fighting chance to live (Star Trek).

Applying these values does not mean you'll end up having the perfect life. Perfectionism is a lost cause, nothing is perfect. I know for a fact that I am not perfect, I'm human, I express myself, make mistakes, offend people, and I am truly sorry for that. The only thing we can do as imperfect individuals is to focus our energy on being the best we can be. 

Social Media might be toxic but I created this post to say thank you to what it did for everybody. We all have our point of views, and what I did unintentionally opened up so many angles for people who were able to speak up, which might be agreeable or disagreeable, personally I have nothing against it, at least we were able to present what Freedom of Expression really is.

Remember, you are entitled to what you believe in.

P.S. To those people who never stopped caring for me, I am truly grateful for each and every one of you. In these crucial times when I don't speak up and ask for help, even without my permission, some of you still remained loyal to me and defended me all throughout this Twitter rage. I will never forget that (Thank you mga beshies, you all know who you are). If you're reading until here, thank you for your time.